Step One: Play this song.
Step Two: Sing these lyrics louder than Brandon Flowers, but less Englishy since he is Mormon…I think.
Change the rules, once we owned freaking people! Amend the gov, we were dumb man, someday I’ll be a fan. Humans still need a murder ban– Lie if Jim needs it Lie if Jim needs it Don’t lose track Of Huckleberry’s rearing Courts and gov did nothing We make up society But we sit back religiously Lie if Jim needs it Lie if Jim needs it Opponents are holding us back to a past that is racist Opponents are standing on backs of the poor without giving rest Will the river cut us all down? like banks cut that town down Like the Banks™ cut that town down? Lie if Jim needs it Lie if Jim needs it Lie if Jim needs it Row row, row row row row row is fightin’ oppression
Crawdad Joke Soon 
I really like this!
I like this. Let me tell u about who I am
*
I am at my mothers.
My mother lives in a trailer on Trumbull Avenue in Girard (Ohio)
She is 320 pounds of pure fat.
She used to be a whore.
My mother would go from truck lot to truck lot selling her fat ass. I don’t know who. But she had many customers.
She has been prison three times, for a total of four years.
She is a painkiller addict. She loves oxies.
She broke her leg once trying to get some oxies.
It was stupid.
She called me from the hospital, “Rocky, come to the hospital, visit your poor mother. I broke my leg.”
I show up there. I took my time, I was in no rush. I would have not even went but I had the day off and had no excuse for not going.
She said to me after the doctors left the room, “I got Ahab to hit my leg with a baseball bat, I was withdrawing and sick as dog, you know.”
Ahab is my mom’s boyfriend.
He is a huge fat black man. He is like 6-5 and 350 pounds. He is huge and fat and weird.
He is also a painkiller addict.
He has spent a total of six years in prison for dealing drugs. And I think he shot someone, but I’ve never asked.
He works at a factory now.
I am sitting at the kitchen table. My mother is sitting across from chain smoker. I take ten-minute breaks.
She is also drinking a tall boy and she keep farting every three minutes. Almost on a cycle.
While we are sitting here at the table.
Ahab is in the living room watching television, also farting every three minutes. His are not synchronized with my mother’s though. So there is a fart approximately every minute and a half that takes place in the trailer.
I look at my mother and say, “Mom, what’s the meaning of life?”